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I've decided to stop feeling sorry for myself, to stop regretting going to college. I'm manning up with my bad self. I'm taking back the joy I used to have in writing. I'm going back to where I told a story because I had a story to tell. I wanted to hear it, so I wrote it. The simple of joy of creating, without the internal pressure of who's going to read it, of worrying over getting published, not worrying whether I suck or not.
I've decided the best way to do this is just to write. Get all the awkwardness over and done with so I can start writing again. I seriously, seriously want to get paid for writing fabulous books, but before I can do that, I have to actually write something fabulous. And before I can write fabulously, I have to give myself permission to write really, really badly. Or, in Annie Lamott's word, write a shitty first draft:
For me and most of the other writers I know, writing is not rapturous. In fact, the only way I can get anything written at all is to write really, really shitty first drafts. (from Bird by Bird)
I have a hard time doing anything without deadlines. Not that I meet deadlines, but having them forces me to get something, anything done. And under pressure, sometimes I produce diamonds. Tiny, infinitesimal diamonds, but still diamonds. I am going to start off small, and build.
My goal for this week is going to be 7k. That's not a lot. I mean, during NaNoWriMo, I'd write more than that in five days. But since this isn't NaNoWriMo and I can't write that intensely all the time (as well as the fact that I haven't been writing for awhile and I need to get back into the swing of things), I think seven k is a good place to start. If it's too easy, I can make next week's goal higher. If it's too hard, well, I'll keep it at 7k. We'll see how much I can push myself.
I'm off to work on an outline. Fun fun fun.
I've decided the best way to do this is just to write. Get all the awkwardness over and done with so I can start writing again. I seriously, seriously want to get paid for writing fabulous books, but before I can do that, I have to actually write something fabulous. And before I can write fabulously, I have to give myself permission to write really, really badly. Or, in Annie Lamott's word, write a shitty first draft:
For me and most of the other writers I know, writing is not rapturous. In fact, the only way I can get anything written at all is to write really, really shitty first drafts. (from Bird by Bird)
My goal for this week is going to be 7k. That's not a lot. I mean, during NaNoWriMo, I'd write more than that in five days. But since this isn't NaNoWriMo and I can't write that intensely all the time (as well as the fact that I haven't been writing for awhile and I need to get back into the swing of things), I think seven k is a good place to start. If it's too easy, I can make next week's goal higher. If it's too hard, well, I'll keep it at 7k. We'll see how much I can push myself.
I'm off to work on an outline. Fun fun fun.
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